Is or Should Be?

I my previous post I introduced the question of whether you see life “as it is” or “as it should be”.

I got some interesting responses.

While I didn’t explicitly state a position, obviously I believed there was some merit to seeing life as it should be… or I wouldn’t have chosen the piece for a monologue those many years ago. But, some have mistaken my position not recognizing that I am firmly in both camps.

If all you ever see is what should be, then you are in for a seriously disappointing time. For life will never be what it should be. (And that doesn’t even get into the question of who decides what the “should be” should be.)

But, if all you ever see is what is, you are also in for a seriously disappointing time. For that viewpoint, life will be at the lowest level of randomness and instinctual drives. Anything you can get away with is okay, because that is what is.

The only way forward is a melding of the two — to recognize how things are today but not to be content for them to stay that way. A vision of how things could be, or should be, and then acting on that vision to begin to create a new reality… one in line with the vision.

Doing this will also result in some disappointing times — no one will ever achieve all they envision. However, they will achieve some of it. And this will result in some happily satisfying times.

If you want more success in your life, then you need to develop your inner vision. Imagine what should be… and then go out and make it happen.

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Debunking Ruth Mozart Edison

In some previous posts, I have pointed out that if you have the wrong model, you won’t get the results you are wanting. I can’t completely adjust your models of success in a single blog post, but let me use some examples of what I mean.

Thomas Edison, Wolfgang Mozart, and Babe Ruth are often used as examples of success that we should learn from. I agree that they are. However, most of the time, what others are using them as examples of are NOT what we should be learning from them.

Let’s start with Thomas Edison. We are told to emulate him for his persistence as the inventor of the lightbulb. There’s only one problem with this (well, two actually.) Edison did NOT invent the lightbulb. He worked to make it more efficient and last longer.

Additionally, he did not try 10,000 times, trying to find something that worked. He had a shop where his employees experimented and tried things until they found the right combination… at his prodding.

Their goal was to find something that lasted more than the 13.5 hours that Edison’s original attempt at lightbulbs lasted. The bamboo filament they found lasted 1200 hours.

Edison was a success, but not because of the reasons usually given. (By the way, most of the misconceptions we have of him on this and similar acheivements of his is because he was a great self-promoter who personailzed (i.e. took the credit for) the discoveries of the teams he had assembled.)

Wolfgang Mozart is another who is held up as a success to emulate. Sometimes people dismiss Mozart as a genius – well beyond us – and, thus, no sense even trying to learn from him. Let’s take a look and see if there is anything for us to learn from Mozart.

Mozart was musically gifted, yes. But his father (a highly competent musician and composer himself) recognized and nurtured the gift. Mozart heard the music in his head and played variations in his mind until it all fit the way he sensed it should be. Then he wrote it down for musicians to play so that others could hear what he had first heard in his mind.

Mozart was a musical genius, but he worked just as hard as we do in the areas of our giftings. And like any master, he made it look easy. Worse for him was the boredom of having to transcribe all the stuff in his head onto paper (a long, boring task that couldn’t be outsourced.) Today, composers have computers and software to help with that ardous task.

The next time your efforts require discipline and effort in order to maximize your gifting/talent, remember Mozart.

Then there is Babe Ruth. Ruth is well known as the “Home Run King”… even after his record was finally broken. Some historians suggest that if all things were equalized to current rules and field dimensions, “The Babe” would still be on top. Even without that he is still on the top ten list of heroes in the United States.

But his homerun prowess had a price. You may have also heard that he struck out a lot. It’s true. He had 714 home runs and 1330 strike-outs. Almost twice the strike-outs as homers. He went to bat 8,399 times. He had good seasons and bad seasons. He got traded for poor performance.

The point I want to make is that he lived with a lot of “failures”, yet he kept hard at it. He earned his fame. He was a success because he took his natural talent and developed it. He took calculated risks and persisted until he won his way through… even when there were set-backs and strikeouts.

We would do well to keep that in mind when setbacks and failures find us. We can be too careful. We can be so careful that we don’t attempt anything… and fail from lack of attempt.

Failure is not the enemy. Inaction and paralysis are the enemy. Learn from these… but learn the right lessons, not the lessons of the “common wisdom”. Above all, persist.

What about you? What lessons have you learned on your journey to success?

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Watch Out for the “Puppy Poop Piles”

I just read another “how to be successful” blog post (by an author who shall remain nameless). I keep looking for other blogs and articles to point you to that can augment your resources. But most of it is crap! (Remember Kurt Vonnegut’s quote? “90 percent of Everything is crap.”)Avatar_100_100.jpg

These guys just keep recycling the same old platitudes that have sounded good for decades (or more) but don’t actually work! They ignore the discoveries about the brain and the mind and how it works.

Did you know that we have learned more about how the brain works (and also the mind — which is related but not the same) in last 15 years than in previous 150 years (or more)?

You may have heard about affirmations. If someone tells you to do affirmations — be wary. There are only a very few ways (as in two or three) that affirmations work… and they are NOT the way we have been taught over the years. If they are repeating the conventional wisdom on affirmations, steer clear. They haven’t done the research and they haven’t tested what they are teaching.

(For more information on the ways that affirmations can work, see this article on my website.)

Someone asked the blogger about visualizations (which he was recommending). “You tell us to visualize the outcome we want, but I can’t visualize things. Is there something wrong with me?”

And his answer was, “No, of course not. You just haven’t been taught how to visualize.”

Excuse me? EVERYONE can visualize. Everyone DOES visualize. (Blind-from-birth people possibly excluded.) You don’t have to be taught how to visualize.

Do you remember the Star Wars light sabers? Remember how the “blade” grows out of the handle… sometimes rapidly and sometimes slowly (depending on the dramatic needs of the scene)? And how the bad guy’s “blade” is red and the good guy’s “blade” is green?

But, perhaps, you never saw any of the Star Wars movies. So, maybe you are one of the almost 26 million people who saw Avatar. (Or the countless millions more who saw the ads for it on television.) Who can forget that blue face with the tiny dots of light creating a “tatoo” on it?

Or… maybe… just maybe… you live under a rock. It’s possible that you live in a treehouse. Or a tipi. Or on a boat floating in the ocean… or maybe that boat is moored at the pier… tied by one of those white ropes that are as thick as your wrist. Or maybe you are in some other way pop-culturally deprived. (I know I come pretty close to fitting that description.)

It doesn’t matter. You “saw” some of those images I suggested as you read them. You have to have. The words won’t make sense to you if you didn’t.

Now, the picture in your mind might not be identical to the one in my mind… but it doesn’t matter here. The point is that you CAN visualize because you DO visualize (even when you don’t realize it).

The rest of this guy’s post was filled with similar inaccurate information.

Why does that bug me so much? Because if you follow his advice and teaching, you WON’T get the results you expect. You will have wasted your time and effort. And you will be even deeper in the hole that you were trying to get out of by using his methods.

It further bugs me because I want you to be successful. I want you to live a fulfilling life at your maximum potential. And I want you to be able to do it in as easy a way as our surroundings will allow.

What about you? What “success” teachings have you run across that didn’t work for you?

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Two Parts to Success

“The first part of success is get-to-it-ivness. The second part is stick-to-it-iveness.” — Orison Swett Marden

Right here is a lesson in success. While you need a vision for what will be, if you never get to it, it will remain just that… a vision.

Bob Jenkins (aka Bob the Teacher) has a motto “Take Action, Revise Later”. (He has a blog post on it with an excerpt from his upcoming book of the same name if you would like to read more about it.) I like this because it embodies a principle that most of us need to heed.

Far too many of us (including myself) have great plans, dreams, or visions but then never see them become reality because we don’t get to it. We keep trying to perfect the plan or attract the resources or find another excuse not to act.

Instead, we need to take action, as imperfect as it will be, and move forward. Once we have experience from acting, then we can revise. In fact, we will have a better result if we act and then revise. We will learn things from the acting that we would never know to incorporate ahead of time… even if people told us so.

But once you act, then the next part comes into play. Stick to it.

There are a few people who have that “stick to it” quality as a natural part of their lives/personalities. The rest of us have to put systems in place to assist us in sticking to it.

Whichever group you fall into, you have to keep at it to succeed. Woody Allen is quoted as saying “80% of success is just showing up.” It is true. But it is a deceptive truth.

Deceptive because “just showing up” is hard. People gradually quit making New Year’s resolutions because they learn that they won’t stick to them.

There are millions of blogs on the web. There are a significantly smaller number of ACTIVE blogs on the web. Part of the reason is that it is hard to write something one to X times per week, week in, week out. You have to show up and produce.

In fact, it is hard to produce something one to x times per week, week in , week out. (Machines can do that pretty easily, humans… not so easily.)

Are there tricks to help? Yes. And maybe I can share them in another blog post. (Hey, I have to have SOMETHING to write about next week… and the week after… and the week, well, you get the idea.) :-)

In the meantime, may I encourage you to Take Action? Then, as you stick to it, you can Revise Later.

Which are you finder harder to do, right now? Get to it? Or Stick to it?

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Feedback Time – What is your Challenge?

Today, I would like to ask you for feedback. What is your biggest challenge in achieving success? (Remember, we are using your definition of success and your challenge may be any area of your life you choose — career, business, financial, relationships, parenting, friendship, personal mastery, whatever.)

Please answer with as long or as short an answer as you feel comfortable with. (Use the comments box.)

Your answers will help guide the future posts on this blog.

Thank you for helping me understand your special challenges.

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