I once had a bumper sticker/placard that read “I have given up on reality and am now simply searching for a good fantasy.”
I kept that for a long time because it resonated so much with me. (Somewhere along the way, it disappeared but I can still quote it from memory.)
Have you ever felt that way, too?
If so, I have really good news! You create your own reality. Or, perhaps, I should say, you co-create your own reality. And, yes, that really is good news.
I hear you saying, “Oh, no! I didn’t create this. I don’t want THIS.”
Or perhaps you are saying, “If what you are saying is true, then I am DOOMED. I’m doing the best I can.”
Or maybe you are saying BOTH.
And if you are saying that, let me tell you that I understand. I’ve said the same thing. I’ve had a really crappy reality at various times in my life. I’ve been in the bottom third of First World crummy experiences many times in my life. And some of them were equivalent to any Third World trauma. (And I will tell you, that takes some doing.)
But what happens to you is only part of the reality creation. How you respond and interpret is the other (and major) part.
I know a music minister who went on a mission trip to a Third World country. (I forget the specific one.) When he returned, he brought back a delicacy to share with us. It was highly prized there. Of course, when he was first offered this delicacy, he was a bit taken aback. If he offered it to you, you probably would be offended. But that’s because you don’t think of cricket-type insects as a delicacy. They certainly did in the country he visited.
So would you be repulsed, or offended, or very flattered if your host offered you a bowl of crickets? What if some of them were still moving? Would it make a difference if they were chocolate-covered? (They were not in that country, but you can buy chocolate-covered crickets, grasshoppers, and ants in the U.S.)
Your reality would be affected by your response and your interpretation of the offer. If you believed the person offering it was an enemy or an evil person, you would interpret it very differently than if you believed that your host was a good person with genuine love for you. Even if you didn’t like, want, or eat crickets.
How you handled the situation would be different, too, based on your interpretation. Do you see how you could make your host into an enemy by an inappropriate response? You would have just co-created your reality.
But, what if you had a friend along as an interpreter who shared with you that you were being offered a very high honor? What if he told you that even if the host was an enemy, their customs insisted that he treat you with honor? And, that, whether you ate them or not, simply accepting them graciously would bestow honor back on them… and give you even greater honor. (By the way, there are lots of societies where this is exactly the case.)
Would that knowledge change your interpretation and response? I’m betting it would.
What does eating crickets have to do with business or career or life today in a First World country? We encounter similar situations all the time. We have things happen to us that we get to interpret and respond to. And by doing so, we are creating our reality.
Is there a scarcity of customers and money? Then why are new millionaires being made every week? They seem to be finding customers. What is different about them?
Do you have competitors or collaborators? Are you surrounded by enemies? How is it that some are surrounded by enemies and others are surrounded by friends?
Because we co-create our reality, it is possible to turn enemies into friends. It is possible to overturn the situation you find yourself in… and make it better.
It starts by recognizing your part in creating your reality… then doing something about it if you don’t like the reality you are in.
Have you improved your reality, lately? Use the comments and share with us what happened.
On the other hand, if you are fed up with the reality you are experiencing, perhaps it’s time to do something about it. Contact me. We can find ways to transform your ugly reality into something that is even better than a fantasy.